wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
