I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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