You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
