Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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