I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
YAS. BRING CRAB.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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