Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
