Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
i think i have herpe
just one?
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
