Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
