so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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