What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
