I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
