dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
