I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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