remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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