I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
