Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
