I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
