K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
