he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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