'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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