Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
high people should be assigned attendants
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
