I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
