The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
