I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
