i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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