You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Randomize
