yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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