it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Of course I have a pirate flag
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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