woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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