he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
