What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
false alarm. still invincible.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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