That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
