all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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