Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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