Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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