420 ftw
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Randomize
