The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
