i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
