erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
