Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
