this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
