I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Randomize
