thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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