saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
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