So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
