The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
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