Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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