THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
