Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
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