im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
