you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
